11.26.18 - The Divinity of Change
Dear Sweet Babe,
Today a robot is reaching its home on Mars. If all goes well, it will land and begin its work on sending information back to us about the insides of that great, red, war planet.
Today is the first day of a work week. If all goes well, people all around the world will be taking home money that will feed, and clothe, and house them and their families…and, most importantly, it will fuel their dreams.
Today is the first day of my correspondence with you. If all goes well, three hundred and sixty-five days will pass and I will deliver to you a complete manuscript of, what I hope, is wisdom.
Today I would like you to know that failing at first feels terrible.
When you don’t do as well as you’d hoped for when you aren’t given an opportunity that you’d wished for, it feels terrible. For me, it feels like a hollowing in my chest, just below my lungs, and a hardening and drying of my larynx. It feels like tears trying to tear themselves from my eyes. It is, so truly, one of the most terrible feelings.
But, I also want you to know how absolutely divine changing and growing feels. Whether it be a new hair cut, putting on a different coat than yesterday’s, trying a new cuisine, singing a note differently, talking to a new person, kicking a ball from a different angle, or even just breathing a bit more deeply, it all feels divine. For me it feels like an expansion of my heart that spreads to a broadening of my shoulders, and a release in my jaw and sacrum. It feels like sunlight running through my core and into every vein. It is the closest I have gotten to feeling like a god.
So, please don’t forget, sweet one: while failure will feel terrible, the only reason it needs to stay that way is if we don’t choose to move onto the divinity of change.